“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken” is a quote often attributed to Oscar Wilde and it is a phrase I think about and talk to clients about regularly.  The need to fit in starts very young and makes complete sense from an evolutionary perspective.  Back in the day, a sense of belonging and not being rejected by our tribe was a matter of life or death.  Still today, in an effort to survive, we compare ourselves to others unfavourably, we engage in mind reading to imagine what others think of us and then we edit ourselves in search of acceptance.  Before we know it, we have moulded ourselves into someone else entirely. 

Although it is a very human thing to do, comparison more often than not leaves us feeling inferior.  Not feeling good enough is an experience I hear so often from the people I work with and it causes much suffering. Imagine a world where people felt they had permission to just be themselves, where it felt safe to just be you.  I love these words by Donna Ashworth.  Remember, noone is youier than you! 

YOUIER, by Donna Ashworth 

Imagine if the sun refused to shine,
because the moon was shinier. 

if streams ceased to flow,
because rivers were flowier. 

if snow didn’t dare to fall,
because rain was fallier. 

if stars did not glow,
because planets were glowier. 

what a world it would be if nature compared,
if flowers didn’t flower,
because their neighbours were flowerier. 

You, my friend, must stop all that folly,
no one can be more you,
you are youier.