One in five children and young people (aged 8 to 25) have a probable mental health disorder, according to the Mental Health of Children and Young People in England 2023 report, published by NHS England.  Whether or not they have a diagnosable condition, undoubtedly the most common mental health challenge presented by the young people I work with is anxiety.  There are many definitions of anxiety out there and one I keep returning to is “an intolerance of uncertainty”.   

The human brain is wired for predictability and familiarity because it feels safe.  This means that the presence of uncertainty is often perceived as a threat so, in service of our survival, we seek control.  This may be in the form of strict routines, rituals, over-preparing, having rigid expectations or seeking reassurance.  The need for this control may come from a fear of the unknown, an attempt to feel empowered, a belief that controlling a situation will stop bad things happening or an association between control and stability.  

An activity I often suggest to people struggling with uncertainty and control is to make a list of things that are within their control and things that are outside of their control.  For example, what happened in the past is no longer in their control but how they respond to their memories of the past is within their control.  The words other people choose to say is outside of their control but they can control what they say.  What others post on social media is out of their control but they are responsible for who they follow on social media.  External exam schedules are out of their control but they do have control over how they prepare for those exams.   

I personally find this adapted version of the Serenity Prayer supportive when faced with uncertainty: “May I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”  Uncertainty is a natural and inevitable part of life and can even bring a sense of adventure and excitement.  Learning to let go of things outside of our control can be an important step towards wellbeing.